My neighbor’s five-year old daughter sat on my lap, farted, laughed, and took off. I look forward to reminding this little lady of this story when she’s 17 and at a pre-prom party with her date.
I remember being a child and having old man rage pass through me when the girl says “I can walk like a penguin” at :17 in this New England Aquarium commercial. And as a point of order, in the history of daughters, no daughter has ever said to her father “Oh Daddy, you have great surprises!” Also, someone please tell me how I can get my alarm clock and doorbell to sound like the trumpet playing in the background.
Perhaps the fact that I’m emailing my comedy details to a guy named Stu with an email address of “suntanstu” at hotmail is a sign I’ve chosen to pursue the wrong career.
And the only thing worse than being in the position of emailing your comedy details to “suntanstu” at hotmail is getting a reply with these 8 words: “Sorry have to pass…Sent from my iPhone”.